Less Assumptions and More Communication

When there is a lot of miscommunication, it ends up being the result of making assumptions. We tend to assume so many things in our mind and we make up scenarios that does not even exist to justify why something happened. Instead of asking each other questions and communicating honesty with our answers, we become withdrawn and sink into our own imaginary worlds.

When a person does not return our phone calls, we assume they do not care about us anymore. We make up these ideas in our mind about what we have done to cause this friction between us and the other person. We run with the imaginary ideas to the point where what we think is what has actually occurred. When our colleague does not say “hello” in the morning, we assume that person is mad at us and do not want to say good morning anymore. So the next day, instead of our usual “good morning,” we’ll walk briskly past the other person with our heads bowed and not say a word. When come home and find our spouse or partner on the computer instead of helping us make dinner, we assume they do not care about the way we cook and we become angry because of their disapproval. Our anger and frustration boils up inside of us that will result in us ignoring our partner for the rest of the night and onto the next day. Our partner will then assume we’re angry with something that they did, and now will continue on with the silent treatment.

We enter relationships assuming that our love will change a person into a better version of themselves. We become so enthralled in all the positive aspects about a person and once we see something we do not like, we assume we can convert them into something that is better suited for us. Changing someone into what they are not will cause tension and regret and will eventually leads into the destruction of the relationship, or worst – marriage where one or the other, or both partners are trying to always get their way.

In order to have fulfilling relationships, we need to first be honest with who we are and have the other person be honest with who they are. This can only happen if both individuals are both perfectly honest in their communication. We can’t hide our true selves or we will be living in hell trying to wear a mask everyday. And who the hell has the energy or the time to do that? And why would you want to be miserable by not being your authentic self?

Once we strip away our untruths and live a more authentic life, we can become more open minded to others and learn to communicate better. We will begin to make less assumptions about others and we will ask more questions in order to find out who people really are. We should aspire to be authentic ourselves so no one can make assumptions about us. Let us all communicate in an honest and open way and always remember to never take anything personally. – Peace and Love

Learn to Let Go and Not Take Things Personally

As we journey through life, we encounter many circumstances and people who influence us, for either the good or the bad. We take in conversations and interactions we have had to gain a better insight into how people are and how we are as human beings. We cultivate our mindset into what we perceive based on these interactions and we begin to form opinions and ideas about things and people that may or may not be true.

We also begin to form opinions about ourselves based on how people treat us. We form misconstrued ideas about ourselves and then we beat each other up about things and then tear our own selves down. We do this because we tend to take so many, if not all things personally.

When someone is late, we assume it’s because they do not want to take the time to get ready early to see us. But it may just be they are running late or something happened or the fact that they are the type of person who is always running late. We begin to feel bad about ourselves and question our worthiness due to the fact someone is late. We question if we are not deserving of someone’s time. Do not take it personally. What they do is their business and what you do and how you respond to it is yours.

Someone who might not even know you called you “ugly”, you may gasp with dismay and then begin to look at yourself through their lens. You begin to feel that your eyes aren’t big enough, your mouth is too small or your nose is too big, based on that one statement from a stranger. You lose yourself in these words that you should not even be attached to but you can’t help it because there are times where you do believe it. Do not take it personally. This person doesn’t even know you; how can they even comment? And, even if they did know you, why does their opinion matter anyway? There must be something that they be going through that they may feel the need to attack you verbally. Don’t take it personally. Let things go and smile.

Maybe someone stopped talking to you. Whatever the reason is, don’t take it personally. You never know if it’s about something out of your control or maybe it’s about you. But don’t worry about it because you can’t assume unless you ask and they tell you the reason. Do not take it personally. People have their issues about things and there are events in their lives that they need to worry about. You do not need to overthink why something happened or didn’t happen. Life goes on and while it goes on you can just worry about you and your energy.

When a situation occurs or the people in your life act in a certain way, do not take it personally. Once you learn to let go of the ideas or thought you have about why or why not, you free yourself of the emotional baggage you’ve been carrying. Learn to release that energy and realize that you are in control of what you do and how you respond to the events that are happening in your life and in your life only. Focus on that and try to be the best version of yourself that you can be. You will learn to live a much more harmonious life. – Peace and Love

Speak Kind Words To Yourself

Most of our struggles lie internally. We overthink and over analyze conversations, interactions, and our feelings to the point of exhausting and at times, depression. We replay over and over again our negative interactions and our negative emotions until we just collapse in a sea of sorrow that has us gasping for air. We beat ourselves bloody with the thoughts and the words spewing inside of our minds where we eventually believe it and there is no way out until someone, ourselves throws a life raft to rescue us.

Our biggest critic is usually never from someone on the outside but lies within ourselves. In the beginning, we become excited when we think about things we would want to happen. However, that excitement begins to dwindle when we start questioning if we will ever get it and even if we deserve it. We begin to make excuses and about why it’s not happening and the excuses are always why we we aren’t good enough to deserve it. We beat ourselves down when things do not work out he way we would want or why something didn’t transpire the way we would have liked. We speak words of disgust and anger towards ourselves and we begin to justify why we do not merit the goodness that should be coming our way.

What leads us into this way of thinking? Why do we constantly berate ourselves to the point of exhausting and never allowing ourselves to just trust in ourselves and the Universe? Why can’t we let this go? You must look within yourself and learn to ground yourself immediately. Over thinking and over criticizing yourself will just cause you to spiral out of control, where you’ll just going to go through a loop of destruction. Is this how you should live? Shouldn’t you want to treat yourself with more kindness? Would you utter any of the negative words you thought about yourself to anyone that you cared about? If the answer is no, then you must make a change now.

Begin now to make a pact with yourself to speak words of kindness. Learn to take a breathe and stop over analyzing why things didn’t work out and tune into your feelings to the reactions of certain events. Before you start berating yourself, listen to your inner being and twitch off your negative emotions. Slowly start dimming your thoughts by visualizing a dial or a light switch and begin to lower it to the point that you are not thinking about the negative feelings. Once you practice this technique every time you feel a negative emotion overtaking you and before you start downplaying your talents, you begin to learn to control your self-destructive behavior. You start to appreciate and look at yourself in a different way and you learn to appreciate yourself a bit more.

Speak words of kindness to yourself daily, hourly if necessary. Become more confident in your body, in your life and in your views about life. Once you begin to speak words of love to yourself, you begin to feel better about yourself and good things start to manifest. Never forget that you are the creator of your Universe. You are the reason why you are here and you are the master manifestor of your life. – Peace and Love