Being Magnetic, Random Thoughts

Midlife Do-Over

It’s been a hard road getting to 40 years old but it’s even harder trying to find my next chapter in life. Figuring out what inspires me and fills me with passion has been a struggle. However, I am having hope.

This morning, while I was scrolling through my Facebook feed, one of my old friends (who I used to party with) posted about 40 year olds (and older) having a midlife career change and being successful at it. My eyes quickly filled up with tears knowing that there was indeed hope for me and that my life hasn’t stopped because I “quit” something to pursue my happiness.

A few weeks back my husband messaged me with a link about celebrities who made it big after 40 and even then I was filled with emotions of hopefulness. However, the link that my friend provided was even better because they were relatable. I don’t want to be famous, not even remotely, I just want to find my happiness and go for it. The struggle is figuring that out. However, my future does look brighter knowing that this isn’t the end for me and that I am NOT a loser for doing something most people wouldn’t dare do. I just HAD to and I am glad I did.

And yeah I do feel like a “loser” at times because well, shouldn’t I be doing something with my life? Shouldn’t I have a career by now? Shouldn’t I know what the fuck I am doing with my life? But you know what, it’s okay not to know and it’s okay to start over. But it’s not okay to think I am a “loser” either.

I am still receiving questions about reentering education and I am always responding with an emphatic “no”, not because I don’t miss it, but because it’s just not for me anymore. And the way things are looking, it’s just going to get worse. And I don’t want to get and feel worse than I have already felt for the past few years.

So has anyone of you made a big career change? Has anyone of you made the huge decision to change your entire life around? Please let me know how it was and how you got out of this “stagnant” stage. – Peace and Love

12 thoughts on “Midlife Do-Over”

  1. I once started an online community called, I Teach Too, with hopes to help bring teachers together and help foster some form of unity. It grew to 500 members. A few of which I’m still friend with today. However, what I found was that they were afraid to talk. Afraid if they said the wrong thing ‘online’ (even though it was a secure community/members only) that they would be fired. I found that many of the teachers felt they had something helf over them and they lost their freedom of voice. To the point where they walked on eggshells as not to upset anything or anyone. This was roughly ten years ago. I shut the community down…it was sad. I even created a charity hike for a local elementary school…we all walked 17.5 miles and raised cash for the math teacher to purchase needed software. The school pretty much ignored my efforts and said nothing. That was the breaking point for me. I did this all out of pocket and for the common good of education. I can only imagine what you went through and can understand why you walked away. Both of my brothers are in education.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s too bad you had to close down your online community because I feel a lot of us could hav benefited greatly. But you’re right, people are always afraid to say something especially when it is online due to possibly being fired for having an opinion.

      Yes, most teachers I know always have something held over them and it could be as simple as “per session”: jobs that you can get pid for after school. Or admin will play the manipulative emotional game to persuade you to do something that you didn’t want to do. Crazy. I wish you would open it up again though. It might be different this time.

      And amazing what you did for the teachers at the elementary school. You are appreciated even though admin never acknowledged. I bet those teachers were grateful for you and your efforts. I know I would be.

      It was very difficult these past few years and I was looked as a leader in my school but the minute I stood up for myself and others, I was treated like shit – immediately. I knew what was happening was wrong and I couldn’t sit back and not say anything, unfortunately it almost cost me my self worth. Thank god I got out.

      Good luck with your brothers! We need more male educators too in this world so I find that to be so amazing. I hope they stay in it for the sake of the kids ❤

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  2. In the same boat! 40 is just around the corner and I feel like I’m starting life over again with a career change. I started over again at 35 too after leaving my husband and filing for divorce and going back to school. It’s like I’m constantly trying to find my place in the world. But I don’t want to just settle either, which I think is a positive thing. It just means I won’t settle for less then what I deserve. 🙂

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    1. I am so incredibly proud of you my love. It takes guts and courage to stand up for yourself and not to settle for anything less. You’re a role model in my eyes for sure! Are you still living In D? If so, we sporks meet up when I am in town. And if you’re ever wanting to come to NYC let me know ❤️❤️❤️

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  3. Im juat starting my new blog and building my portfolio. Your post and your worries as a midlife woman and mom are exactly why I started it. Ill be answering this question in my next blog because it resonates with me! Heres to the second round!

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  4. I was a young woman who did men’s work operating heavy equipment, uninterested in children. Then I met my future husband. We not only had children but became licensed foster parents. Fostering is not for everyone but it humbled me, still does.
    After farming cherries and apples until our “midlife” we sold the orchard, bought two used motorcycles and drove across the United States to experience a midlife adventure. Living three thousand miles from “home,” I then taught myself to write and stuck my foot in the doors of newspaper editors, until I was hired. I also eventually wrote and published my own books, pulling on my hair nervously in the meantime. Ten years later I became a grandma. My husband and I then moved and we bought a clothing consignment shop, that did not survive covid-19. Although I still get those nauseating feelings when making big changes, I’ve learned those feelings pass. Our store cleared out quickly last weekend (I meet the last few consignors in three hours), but I’m not surprised because I’ve never been a believer in slow deaths but a strong believer in gratitude for the changeless love and truth that defines me. Careers don’t. When people ask me what I’m going to do next, I say, “The same thing I’m doing now, being happy by sharing it.”
    You are beautiful and always hugged by love.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for this. I actually read this a few days ago and it made me cry because I absolutely love your spirit and your gusto. No matter what happens, you just go with the flow. I am there were emotions along the way but you did it anyway. You inspire me to just live my life and to follow the wind. Again I appreciate you sharing this with me because you have no idea how much this helped me ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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