My daughter is 5 years old and I think we have a really great relationship at the moment. She is willing to give me hugs and kisses in front of her peers and she tells me repeatedly that she loves me. She also thinks I am “the best” and it does help my self esteem that she thinks I am very “young” and that I am “not old at all”. My outlook on our relationship is at an all time high when it comes to parenting due to our loving interactions and I honestly hope this can last forever.
Growing up “Asian” is very different compared to other cultures because I never had the pleasure of being hugged or being told that I was loved. I had to just assumed I was loved and that a hug was more of a pat on the back, lol. When I saw how other families responded to each other I was envious to say the least. But like any Asian kid, I had to accept my life for what it was and just focus on getting straight A’s, which I can say was very difficult for me.
Now as a parent, I wanted to take parts of my upbringing and turn them upside down, and I have and I am. I vowed to myself, when I found out that I was pregnant, that I was going to be different. I was going to show my daughter how much I loved her and how much I cared. I hugged her continuously and I am not shy in telling her I love her repeatedly, even if out of the blue. Yeah there are times when she annoys the shit out of me and I just want to be left alone to do my own thing, but I also know my time is so short with her. Because as we all know, time flies while our children are growing up right in front of our eyes.
I hope this relationship that we have right now lasts forever. I really do. I am hesitant about the teenage years but I am also internally excited. I am definitely not looking forward to discussing boys and sex and her menstrual cycle but in a way I am, because I never had that. I had to learn everything on my own and with that, came many mistakes. I know she needs to make mistakes, but with wisdom and not with ignorance.
I’ve seen great relationships between mothers and their daughters and I have seen strained ones as well. I have always wondered how the great relationships have begun because I already know what one looks like when it is strained. I hope we can maintain this loving momentum and continue to grow together in getting to know one another. Because at the end of the day, my love for her will last forever.