Validation from anywhere can help boost our self-esteem and can help propel us to greater heights than we could ever imagine. It can help us realize our greatest potential and make us see what others see in us that we may not always see in ourselves. It can help motivate us or push us to do things that we may not have imagined before.
It can also quickly tear us down. Outside validation is very powerful and can have a strong hold on how we view ourselves because it is dependent on how others view us. We tend to feel better when others give positive feedback to what we are doing by reassuring us of our greatness. But just as easily as it can uplift us, it can all come crashing down with one verbal attack.
As children, we are equally praised and criticized for our behaviors and choices and are taught that what others think of us is important (at least that was how I was raised). We are taught that the views of others about ourselves is just as important as our own views. This type of mindset can transform us into many different versions of ourselves to fit everyone else’s needs. We can manipulate our personality and our needs to help align ourselves with people in order to make them feel comfortable but in the end, we become muddled with confusion with who we truly are.
We become dependent on the views of others to help define our strengths and our weaknesses. We are subjected to their opinions and have an internal battle with ours. This internal struggle is what makes us crave attention and affirmation from people, who may or may not have our best interests in mind. And one little comment on how we look, who we are and what we stand for, can have a greater affect on our identity than our own views of ourselves, since we are so dependent on theirs.
But is this the way to live and view who we are as human beings? Should it really be dependent on some one else’s view of us? If we continue to seek validation from the outside world, we will consistently hunger for more and lose sight of who we truly are. We cannot allow others to control our way of thinking about ourselves and validate our worth. We are unique individuals who are all capable of creating our own sense of self image by finding traits and characteristics we love about ourselves. We are all made distinctly by the Universe with the love we have for ourselves.
I spent many years teaching, craving validation from my peers, principals, parents and students. One friend asked me what I will be looking forward to with not teaching anymore. I simply stated, “not allowing outside validation to define me”.
Do not let outside validation to define you any longer. Seek the truth and love from yourself. I know, easier said than done, but you have to start now. Simply say, “fuck it”. It really should not matter what others think of you anymore because those thoughts and opinions will hold you back. If you allow love from others and especially from yourself to flow freely, you’re going to achieve what the Universe already has in store for you. So, set yourself free and fly baby. – Peace and Love