When there is a lot of miscommunication, it ends up being the result of making assumptions. We tend to assume so many things in our mind and we make up scenarios that does not even exist to justify why something happened. Instead of asking each other questions and communicating honesty with our answers, we become withdrawn and sink into our own imaginary worlds.
When a person does not return our phone calls, we assume they do not care about us anymore. We make up these ideas in our mind about what we have done to cause this friction between us and the other person. We run with the imaginary ideas to the point where what we think is what has actually occurred. When our colleague does not say “hello” in the morning, we assume that person is mad at us and do not want to say good morning anymore. So the next day, instead of our usual “good morning,” we’ll walk briskly past the other person with our heads bowed and not say a word. When come home and find our spouse or partner on the computer instead of helping us make dinner, we assume they do not care about the way we cook and we become angry because of their disapproval. Our anger and frustration boils up inside of us that will result in us ignoring our partner for the rest of the night and onto the next day. Our partner will then assume we’re angry with something that they did, and now will continue on with the silent treatment.
We enter relationships assuming that our love will change a person into a better version of themselves. We become so enthralled in all the positive aspects about a person and once we see something we do not like, we assume we can convert them into something that is better suited for us. Changing someone into what they are not will cause tension and regret and will eventually leads into the destruction of the relationship, or worst – marriage where one or the other, or both partners are trying to always get their way.
In order to have fulfilling relationships, we need to first be honest with who we are and have the other person be honest with who they are. This can only happen if both individuals are both perfectly honest in their communication. We can’t hide our true selves or we will be living in hell trying to wear a mask everyday. And who the hell has the energy or the time to do that? And why would you want to be miserable by not being your authentic self?
Once we strip away our untruths and live a more authentic life, we can become more open minded to others and learn to communicate better. We will begin to make less assumptions about others and we will ask more questions in order to find out who people really are. We should aspire to be authentic ourselves so no one can make assumptions about us. Let us all communicate in an honest and open way and always remember to never take anything personally. – Peace and Love