I’ve never been one to be super bubbly or outgoing naturally; I’ve always had to force myself to smile more and say “hi” to people to appear more friendly. I am not saying I am not friendly, I am just overly cautious of people and their intentions. Plus I have a really horrible facial expression better known as “resting bitch face”. This makes me unapproachable and I have to force my mouth muscles to turn upright so I don’t appear as a crazy bitch who hates your guts.
I generally like people but people who are authentic and real; people who do not put up a front and who can honestly tell me the truth about myself without judging me or trying to tear me down. I appreciate people who are genuinely nice and want the best for others and themselves and who isn’t trying to compete with me on a material, physical or intellectual level. I like people who are open to opening up to me and I to them without being judged for my beliefs, lifestyle, point of view or my authentic self. To attract these type of people in my life, I must be like them also.
Recently, my daughter started Kindergarten and I felt like I was on an interview process with other parents. It was nerve-racking and it was making me feel anxious when I saw other moms start chatting away and already forming cliques. I don’t like cliques and I do not like the idea of any group’s overall mentality of “us against them”. I just want to get along with everyone and hopefully meet people who are what I had described above.
There was one mom who I noticed right away. Her son sat adjacent from my daughter on the first day of school. He was already reading some words from the book and my competitive mom side started to feel jealous (don’t judge, lol) but I quickly suppressed those feelings because life is not a competition with others! She appeared friendly enough but a few days after during morning drop off I said “hello” to her and she said a quick “hello” back but didn’t come near me to engage in any conversation even when I attempted to talk to her. However, when another parent came to talk to her, she was quickly engaged with that other person and my little self-conscious self felt really hurt. “Why wasn’t I good enough to talk to?” “What is it about me that you do not like?” “You don’t even know me, why are you ignoring me?” Lord have mercy on my over-thinking mind while I was knocking my self esteem down as the minutes ticked by.
But then a strange and wonderful thing happened that afternoon, a few of us moms decided to take our kids to the park after school for them to play together and thus, for us to get to know each other. While speaking to them, I realized how much I really liked their energy and their sense of humor. They were so honest and open and it came all so naturally. I didn’t have to feel like I was someone else and I didn’t have to feel uneasy about myself and think I wasn’t good enough. It’s crazy to think I was focusing on this other particular person and not realizing that there are other people out there who are worthy enough to be in my energy force. Why dwell on someone who may not even be aligned with what I want affect me so much? Why was I even giving them any energy when I had other people who were willing to get to know me? I can be so dumb and naive some times but I think any type of setting makes us relive any childhood drama we are still facing.
Another amazing thing happen today. Another mom and I were waiting for the bus (our daughters are in the same class) and she appeared to be so open and kind. We chatted about our interracial relationships and how our daughters were both mixed. After our drop off, I stumbled upon her again waiting for the bus to head back home and we began chatting again. Our chat got deep quite instantly and I wasn’t taken aback by it and I wasn’t judging her or vice versa; it felt really natural and her spirit felt so authentic. Was this another person that I was allowing the Universe to bring to me? Was this what I truly deserved as a friend? Only time can tell but I am open to the Universe and allowing the positive energy to flow through my experiences with the individuals that I have just recently met. It feels wonderful to have manifested these people in my life, simply knowing what it is that I wanted in my life.
If you want people who value you and who have a soul that you can connect with, ask the Universe for what you want. It will bring the people into your life if you allow them. The Universe is truly abundant and it will manifest the people in your life that deserve you. I am the master of my life and I know I am gifted with the art of manifestation. Believe that you are capable of the same thing too. Also, try not to focus on what you didn’t get; some things weren’t meant for you. Only focus on the people and the things/events that are meant for you. Life is truly magical and I am excited about the new people in my life because I do believe the Universe brought them to me to teach me so much more about myself. – Peace and Love