I recently had a conversation with an old colleague of mine who recently left the same school as me. He brought up a conversation between my old principal and another old colleague. The principal mentioned how he got rid of some miserable people and how he needs to get rid of some more. I laughed it off but deep down I was extremely offended because I knew he was talking about me. I was also baffled by his statement because he was the one making everyone miserable, and not the other way around.
It’s crazy to think how a person can not see they are the cause of other people’s misery but it also baffles me that I was still offended by him. I haven’t seen this person in two months and he still irks the living shit out of me. I spoke with my husband while we were preparing dinner and after I told him of the incident I said, “can you believe this guy?” His response was, “I can’t believe you’re allowing him to get to you when you are no longer there.” Dam boo, why do you have to be so rough but oh so right?
Why was I allowing some small minded person, who is no longer in my life, affect my feelings? Why was I allowing someone so insignificant to alter my state of blissfulness? Why was I even entertaining the idea of him and his little mind? It is true, I have to really left shit go and learn to move on from all the negativity that surrounds him and my past. I can not allow anyone who no longer fits into my life, control my life any longer. I have to learn to move on and accept that just because I have changed and grown (somewhat lol), doesn’t mean others will.
My growth in the last two months has been exponential. I have learned to discover how it is to live in the moment and to find peace within myself. I have found that it is important to take my time and to take care of myself a lot more. I should not allow someone, who is no longer important to me, affect my state of bliss. This was just a blimp in my life, this moment of feeling anger and these four years with him. I will look back at the years that I have suffered and I will see it as a small portion of my life and learn from my past mistakes.
These moments of feeling anger towards someone, who is no longer with you, is just a moment. It will pass and it will make you become more in-tune with your feelings. It will teach you that your feelings are very powerful and that small-minded people should not control them. You will become more aware of how others make you feel and learn how to dispose of those feelings the minute they enter your mind. You will learn to let go of past indiscretions that no longer affect you and you will be more mindful of how you react to others with what they will say and do. It will take time but life is a process that we learn through everyday. Everyday gets easier once we become more aware of our reactions to things. Eventually you’ll get into the stage where you will become less reactive and more active in processing your emotions.
So whatever life throws at you, be more mindful on your reaction to it and ask yourself if this is important in the larger scheme of things. If it isn’t, then that moment of anger, frustration, displeasure will soon lift from you and you will eventually get back to feeling better much sooner. Sending all of you positive vibes and love! – Peace and Love