Single-dom is amazing and can be filled with excitement and new faces. It helps you discover what you like in a partner and what you love about yourself. However, it can also be tiresome especially if you would like to settle down and find “the one”.
Going out on numerous unsuccessful dates and having mindless sex with people can have a negative effect on your psyche (unless you like that of course, lol). It can steer you into having thoughts of worthlessness and feelings of loneliness, particularly when you wish you could be with someone special.
The first step into finding someone who fits your mode of a “ideal” partner is first examining how you view yourself as a person. We usually forget to look inward and are always looking outwards for things and people to satisfy our needs. But we must first examine how we feel about ourselves because how we feel attract what we receive in our lives.
Examine the traits and characteristics that you love about yourself. Try listing at least 5 attributes that you find appealing about yourself and then provide a description for them. Be sure each attribute/trait/characteristic has at least 2 to 3 sentences as your explanation on what makes you wonderful.
Review some things that make you happy. I suggest you create a list of at least 10 things that make you happy (more if you would like) and the reasons why. If you’re not sure why, listing them is the first step. Go back to your list periodically and add specific events when you felt the most happy. Being descriptive as possible is important in order for you to be able to review later.
Analyze the people you allow into your life by making a list of your past relationships. What good qualities do they all share and what bad qualities do they all share? You could examine your list by creating a t-chart and then highlight all the good qualities. Hopefully your list of good qualities is longer. Focus on those good qualities by rewriting them on a separate piece of paper. Add additional qualities that you would like to include. On top of that piece of paper, write “Ideal Partner”.
If your list isn’t long or as long as you would like, I suggest you go back to the list of bad qualities and examine them. Ask yourself why these qualities are there and why these keep reappearing. Is there something about these qualities that you have experienced in your childhood that has negatively impacted you in some way? Is there someone in your past that has skewed your sense of rationality? Was there an experience in your life that changed your view on things so dramatically that this is all that you think you deserve?
Moving on past these negative life changing events can and will have a profound effect on how you view yourself and your relationships. However, it does not have to continue if you choose not to. It isn’t an easy task and it might take counseling or seeing a spiritual advisor or meditating everyday to release all of that negative energy. But I advise you to do SOMETHING in order for you to transcend into an element of connectivity to your one true self.
Your one true self needs to get rid of the toxicity that you have been carrying all those years and that includes the partners that you consistently choose. Once you determine the root of your choices and you are able to seek the help that you need (in whatever form that you choose), the Universe will bless you with a partner that deserves you.
Be open to what the Universe has to offer you and release your wishes out into the world. Live your life with the best intentions and never stop believing anything is possible. Enjoy your life by only allowing good influencers to enter it. Trust in the Universe that you will receive whatever it is that you desire.